So both of your posts wring of building sexual tension, anticipation, like I'm candy behind the glass. I get it, but I'm not very good at it. More like the kid outside the candy counter glass drooling all over himself. So I can see I've got work to do. I've got an e-book to read, plus I've got an attitude. No fear!
I listened to the first two Chapters of For Men Only. OMG, I realized I'm a chick! Somehow our roles have reversed and I'm a woman. I like to talk about R, I like to be pursued, yuck!! I've gotta turn that around.
Also, book talks about how important it is for W to feel secure in the R. So last night before sleep I told W how much I appreciate every she does for me, how much I love her, and that everything is going to be alright with us. Just like the book said. She layed there without much emotion and started to say something but stopped. So I asked her what she was thinking.
She said that she has strong doubts that she'll ever have those kind of feelings for me. She's frustrated about it, knows what a great guy I am, etc., but she's just not sure about gaining those feelings. Asked me why I was so sure things would be alright. So I took that as she's looking for security. So I explained that I'm just an optimistic guy, and that we've come so far together, looking back two years it's night and day. I just expect that trend to continue.
I also told her that I was healed, and that I could go live on my own anytime and I'd be OK. I'll have a fulfilling life, with or without somebody who loves me intimately.
So we talked about old times and how she used to feel about me etc. Then we cuddled and stuff, but she absolutely needs to have the right feelings before she'll ML. She actually said maybe we need to try something different than what we've been doing. I don't know what that is but it was her idea.
Opinions? Was she fishing? Is this Chick speak for "I want you to pursue me more"? Which of course I will pursue less then to build more tension. Gotta got to donuts now.
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
