Life goes on, and it ain't about Job

[81388*]

$

[theoden]

8,

I thought of you when I saw this. I also thought of myseld..


"We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and then bid the geldings to be fruitful."

--CS Lewis.

Dude, where's my chest?

[81388*]

Question, all answers are welcome.

My wife and I are physically separated, she is "with" OM(although it lives in another state), one source reports that they are engaged (no, not snooping, information from common friend) she has a job, yet she continues to write checks from joint account.

What should/can I do about this?

My gut instinct is to just ask her what her plans are, and if she is going to continue, then we will need to close that account. I simply can't afford two households. She is not paying all her bills out of it, but enough to cause serious problems.

I think it is reasonable (I use that term lightly in her present mental state) to request that she pay all her own household bills, her truck payment, and her own credit card bills.

What does everyone else think?

[ford]

81

I agree with cutting her off, I don't believe in subsidized cheating. remember, they want to be independent. funny how real world problems, such as finances, or lack of, never enter into their fantasy.

[81388*]

Ford,

Thanks, I think you still tell them though. Not just close the account.

I'm thinking maybe just what I posted, I can't afford this, I think you need to..., then let her talk. If no agreement, then just close the account.

Although I am not sure I can just close a joint account.

[ford]

I hear ya, 81.

I dunno if you can close it, but you can stop putting funds in it.

don't feel guilty about this. do you think if tables were turned that she would fund your fun?

you're a good man, this is just a boundary.

[theoden]

Does the common account have lots of money in it?

If so, after you telling her to stop using it, she can withdraw all the money and you're screwed.

If it's basically only your paycheck that's funfing it, then get your paycheck deposited into another account.

1. Best to talk first.

2. If she says OK, then withrdaw all the money out of it and open another account.

3. If she says no, then withdraw all the money out of it and open another account.

4. Talk to a lawyer first.

--Thedoen

[81388*]

Thanks guys,
No not alot of money, but most of paycheck and I pay all expenses out of it. Had to really scramble because there was not enough to pay the mortgage, but I was able to cover it. I have not made her truck payment yet though.

[HeartScared]

Get your money out.

I think that is quite inconsiderate and selfish.

Doesn't she feel guilty doing that? Nevermind, I forgot the stepping out partners are always very selfish.

[ford]

Heyya 81

whats new with you?

hope all is improving