I always tried to do a balanced 50% of the household chores, and my W never nagged or had to ask me to do things.
However, now that she has acted in a WAW manner, I wonder if there were some feelings or unexpressed frustrations related to the household, that she did not express.
One area that she might cite, is the balancing of the checkbook, against the monthly statement, which she would do 90 - 95% of the time. When we paid bills, we often would do that together, with her writing out the checks, while I stamped, sealed, and put mailing labels on. That made that chore go a little faster, but neither of us liked to deal with finances and bills, so this was one area that I should have helped out with more than I did.
With hindsight during the past weeks, I am beginning to see areas of our relationship (like the checkbook duty), where I might have sensed tension or frustration over the past years, yet did not engage my W in a discussion to figure out what she was feeling but not expressing, because a few hours later, things seemed "normal" again. Whatever "normal" is supposed to mean.
Me 46 WAW 45 M 21 yrs
WAW: "I need to be alone" 12/06 W moves out 3/07 Mediation finalized 08/08
