Well, clearly I'm on the far side of the curve in many ways but the thing that struck me most was this:
Quote:
Women usually take around 10 to 11 minutes to reach orgasm. If they do.
This doesn't even compute with me. I mean sometimes I purposefully delay my orgasm because I want to extend the fun but otherwise unless somebody started having sex with me while I was sleeping or completely unaroused (and why would I be having sex if I was completely unaroused?) I don't get it. If I'm wanting to orgasm and I haven't gotten there in 10 minutes I would be like "Hey Mojo, what planet are you on? Why didn't you try and find a better groove like 8 minutes ago?".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
“One of the most intriguing obstacles to desire is caretaking,” says Esther Perel, a couples and family therapist in New York City, and author of Mating In Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic. Women today are largely the caretakers -- of the children, the husband, and the home, even if they, too, work outside the home. Why does this sabotage sex drive? Caretaking makes you think about others, while desire hinges on your being able to think about yourself and your own needs. “Desire is rooted in autonomy, freedom, and selfishness. If you can’t be selfish, you can’t have an orgasm,” Perel says.
I don't get it. If I'm wanting to orgasm and I haven't gotten there in 10 minutes I would be like "Hey Mojo, what planet are you on? Why didn't you try and find a better groove like 8 minutes ago?". OK hottie, you bragging for us guys, that we are a little short on the female partner having "O's" just kidding MoJo.
The part I really wanted to comment on was delaying "O's" I think many guys do that. Extending the fun is the point of many sexual encounters I have had with BB.
About the average O for a female being 11 minuets, I thought it was longer. The 26% "O" rate, no surprise there.
This would certainly explain why some women become LD or have less desire after having children. Being a mom is the ultimate "caretaker" role.
I remember when my son was an infant I felt completely used up at the end of the day. There was nothing left. I didn't even want to be touched because I was completely "touched out." Maybe my HSP-ness contributed to the feeling of sensory overload I experienced. I found it really difficult back then to switch from mother mentality to lover mentality.
Now that S3 is almost S4, things are different for me. However, if I were younger and having more children, I believe I would still be stuck in my LD mode.
Women usually take around 10 to 11 minutes to reach orgasm
Well, what do ya know. I AM normal. It has always taken me about 10 minutes with every partner I've had. Although with my vibrator I can get it done in 2.
LOL- Yeah, in the interest of science monkey-girl did the experiment and came in at 1 min. 45 seconds (after approximately a minute thinking about Captain Wentworth pinning her against one of the giant birch trees on the hiking path near her house). Surprisingly, after 5 minutes of resolution (During which monkey-girl had thoughts along the line of how refreshing it was to have fantasies that might actually come true and then a moment pondering the odds that such a fantasy actually would come true if one were to abandon rule such as those found in HJNTIY and simply e-mail a man who described himself as both HD and a thrill-seeker and propose such an encounter.) I once again came in at exactly 1 min and 45 seconds.
I think that's why I said in my earlier post that I'd be trying to find a better groove if I wasn't feeling it after two minutes. I was also trying to think how long it would take on average if I were in "just lie back and let him give you an orgasm" mode and I would still have to say definitely less than 10 minutes unless something quite unfortunate was going on.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I prefer to have it take a long time. When I play alone, I make the journey last at least an hour. Why rush? Getting there is 2/3 of the fun.
LOL- I don't disagree. I was just rushing in the interest of science. Normally, I would have taken the time to develop a highly detailed plot with numerous variations involving the hiking trail and Captain W. and I finally arriving at the giant birch tree. BTW -was there a rule in HJNTIY involving not sending e-mail messages with sexual innuendo in them? If so, I just broke it.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
just kidding MoJo.