If you're feeling ready, and really fear for your $ (and why should you not), then perhaps a legal separation of finances is in order.
Or, you could separate out your finances now. That is something he does not need to know about.
Can you survive on just your $? If not, work out an agreement with H for the separation so he could start pitching into finances without you both having a joint account.
I did that with my H. When I moved out, I started my own account. But i also started drawing out of H's account the $ I put in before I left and he was spending on OWomen. H agreed at the time, but now forgets.
Just get the vent and windows now. Maybe before your email out to him. While he's in the mood to be nice bc of recent news. That can't take too long, can it? Or purchase the windows and have $ set aside for installement when the weather gets better.
I know this sounds sneaky, and I felt that way too, but it's not. It's wise and safe. And, right now, placing our future finances, emotional health or anything in the hands of a crazy person (however temporary) is not good. It's not safe. You would advise another to do the same.
This is still your choice. There are others here on the boards MUCH more experienced and ahead, and you should take their advice.
And, yes, we love and support you. We are behind you every step of the way. 100%. We won't blink an eye or tell you different. We know what you went through, and still do.
And, most of all, I have immense respect for you that you respect yourself, that you know yourself well enough to know boundaries and you keep yourself healthy for your children and for the life you have yet to live.
