Other Woman's Perspective

[25yearsmlc]

Just to say two things to TSC and one thing to Lissett.

Lissett, I get your pain and I thought you said it like it is, for you and for all betrayed spouses with kids.

TSC, I HAVE BEEN TEMPTED and felt a "real" connection to a man other than my H and I was in the military and where I worked it was 90% male. I got plenty of attention. Yes I was tempted with a certain guy. I have children. When I imagined doing "it" with OM and them finding out, or making my H cry, I simply could not do that. So I went to see a chaplain and then I went to a shrink to talk things out. I do recall thinking I "loved" the OM, (and no, we did not "do it"). Now when I look back at that time I have to say I feel I was almost crazy. Kind of like my H is now, only he didn't go to a chaplain or shrink to talk things out. He kept to himself so he could justify actions he once thought were selfish... I am embarrassed to see how nutty I was feeling and how adolescent. It was not love.

Second, please think of the child YOU are helping to deeply hurt, and the GF. And don't confuse lust/infatuation with love. I really don't believe it is possible that it is real love in this sitch. I don't believe love comes from these types of hurtful situations. How can it be love based on deceit and selfishness and attraction/"chemistry"? It is not. Believe me, I know. And just b/c it happens a lot in this country does not make it UNsinful. It is in the commandments for a reason. And there ARE those of us who get very tempted and DO NOT act on it...

And what type of guy lives with the mother of his child for 10 years without marrying? Please don't tell me it's b/c he never loved her like he loves you. Been there, done that. It just isn't true. Please realize it is not all about you or him. There are other people getting hurt including a child. How can you put yourself ahead of them? Are you a mother? I gotta wonder. I would NEVER do that to a child of mine OR another's. And I KNOW that. Be careful of what you rationalize, for it makes you dangerous morally and that's bad news for you in the long run.
j-