"Exploring the psychology of human learning, Markova (senior affiliate, the Organizational Learning Ctr., MIT) theorizes that all people distill auditory, visual, and kinesthetic stimuli into one of six basic patterns of learning. She came to this conclusion through her broad-based, firsthand experience as a teacher, being especially observant of the habits exhibited by children who would not fit into the standard norms. This book is far more than a narrative of her work and research, however; it is also a self-help work that "teaches you to use the instrument of your mind to learn more easily and communicate more effectively." Each proposed learning pattern is examined in detail, with readers being instructed on how to recognize their pattern and to integrate this recognition into daily living and learning. This interesting and well-written book deserves a place as well in general psychology collections in libraries of all types."
I'm the ideal student for the way most classrooms are set up: I can learn sitting perfectly still in a classroom for hours. I can make eye contact and listen. Teachers loved me FWIW. I was just doing what came naturally.
Some people have to be in motion when they learn. Walking with them and talking will get much better results.
My late H could only listen well when he WASN'T making eye contact. Used to drive me and others CRAZY.
Terrific book for parents and supervisors!
It was published earlier under the title "How Your Child Is Smart."
I often have to ask my W to help me prioritize things. Along with the general housekeeping stuff, where does "fixing the broken doohickey" fit? I know they are both important to her, but if fixing the broken doohickey is going to take all weekend and prevent me from cleaning my part of the house, (and if I couldn't care less if either one was or wasn't taken care of), which one gets addressed first?
I think the fact that I don't care about either one, but that I know she does, is crucial. So asking her which one is HER priority, well, isn't that kind of a loving thing to do? I think so, but you (and, unfortunately, my W) may disagree and may think it just shows that I have some sort of learning disability.
Hairdog
I haven't posted here before, but I have been reading along for some time. I think your wife has a twin! But anyway....
It seems to me that you are supposed to know which thing you should be doing first. Why are you taking her time to ask something so obvious!
(When I figure out exactly how you are supposed to know, and how it is obvious, I'll let you know!)
Well, maybe CAC will pop in here with his thoughts. I think what was happening with us was that I was overly critical and he was trying to avoid that. I think he believed that if I explained things to the nth detail that he would have a chance of "getting it right." I have only recently begun to understand this dynamic between us.
my thoughts: This is because as a control freak, its not the end result that is important; it is the entire process, up to and including the nth degree. To someone else, for whom neither the task at large, nor the actual process is of particular importance, you must explain in great detail. OTOH, stuff you do "for" me comes with much less detail, because I am not a control freak, and really don't care how you do it. "mowing the lawn" is pretty black and white. the mower must pass over every square inch of turf area; how you accomplish that is of no concern to me. If you want to make a bunch of swirlies and figure-eights, like Corri mentioned in another thread...go right ahead. But when you tell me to "clean the kitchen"...(and I'm just making this up as an example), well, crap. that could mean almost anything. picked up? washed? sanitized?? sterilized????
Originally Posted By: mrscac4
I picked up a bad habit from my mother -- assuming that people could read my mind.
lots of people do this. In fact, I might even say "most" people do this. and thats the problem. we assume...way too much. I got a question thismorning from someone that included 3 assumptions AND a conclusion...all of which were wrong. This is typically followed from me with a session of "20 questions"...and people HATE that. but its the only way I can accurately asses the situation, identify the problem, and apply a solution. a complete understanding of the situation is required. You'd be amazed how often I solve problems that are presented as "I can't print", by crawling under a user's desk, and plugging the power cord to their computer back into the wall, and turning the thing on. (yeah, they actually pay me money to do that). The situation is very often presented 180 degrees from reality, because of this propensity to assume.
Originally Posted By: fearless
Which of us was right? Neither we just needed what we needed.
Nah. you were right. seriously, the key word here, (which you used): *context* Our non-5/intj friends like to poke fun of us with all our logic and "linear" thinking and such...but a bunch of facts is meaningless without context. that joke about the glass being half full/empty...the engineer says "its twice as big as it needs to be"....ha ha, but wrong. no good engineer would draw that conclusion with the information presented. you need the big picture. With simple directions, you have no real "understanding", and one small mistake will find you lost. (unless you're a pilot; then you would be "temporarily disoriented. pilots don't get "lost" ... because they have maps).
"Our non-5/intj friends like to poke fun of us with all our logic and "linear" thinking and such"
Even though I'm a 4 and an INFP, I also do a lot of what cac is describing in my work. People start spouting a bunch of information about their organization and its mission, "assuming" that I know that there is a problem with kids, old people, housing, dogs, or orchestras, and why raising money for these things is something that total strangers should give a rat's a$$ about. Oh yeah, they usually sprinkle in a ton of industry-specific acronyms-- I love it when they do that. They usually assume that as soon as you hear about the homeless dogs and old people you will just fork over the dough, no questions asked. They feel entitled to the money, and get pi$$ed when it's not forthcoming.
My job is to listen with the ears of an outsider, identify the unwarranted assumptions, build a foundation under them, make the case for why people should care about teaching homeless old people's dogs to play in the youth orchestra in the housing project, and follow up that caring with cold hard cash.
It's very hard for people to get outside their own heads and listen to what they're really saying... to notice how much of the story they're leaving out... and then they wonder why other people fill in the blanks all wrong. This also applies to giving instructions about chores.
No, they don't, and for one reason only: I'm a consultant.
When you're an outsider, they listen. When you're on staff... you're seen as a thorn in their sides.
Sometimes one of my informal jobs is to take the words of the Executive Director that NO ONE inside the organization will listen to, and regurgigate them so they will be taken seriously. I also take Exec's out to lunch so they can cry on my shoulder.
I am glad you picked up on one of my favorite words CONTEXT. The reason I write so much here is to try to give context to my words. I want context so I give context.
For me, I hate to be told to do something without being given the context or "big picture". Part of it may just be inquisitiveness, but I also believe that I can do a better job if I understand the context of the job.
By the way it is so great to read you and mrscac post. The two of you have such obvious love for each other. You are willing to talk about issues without blaming which is wonderful to watch.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
my preference would be that the images were printed out on quality paper and stored in wooden boxes with perhaps some rose petals and a scrap of yellow ribbon.-LOL Good one.
seriously, the key word here, (which you used): *context* Our non-5/intj friends like to poke fun of us with all our logic and "linear" thinking and such...but a bunch of facts is meaningless without context. that joke about the glass being half full/empty...the engineer says "its twice as big as it needs to be"....ha ha, but wrong. no good engineer would draw that conclusion with the information presented. you need the big picture. With simple directions, you have no real "understanding", and one small mistake will find you lost. (unless you're a pilot; then you would be "temporarily disoriented. pilots don't get "lost" ... because they have maps).
What does that say about those of us who are both an engineer AND a pilot?
... because they have maps).
its like I have the word "dummy" tattooed on my forehead, or something.