He is leaving to be alone to THINK - now what?

[Doe]

I know you are joking - but don't underestimate how much it DOES actually feel like freedom when they go. You are treading on eggshells and under loads of pressure - it will feel like a huge relief when he does go. Quickly followed by the "what's he doing now i can't keep an eye on him" jitters but there you are - no-one says doing the right thing is always easy. Well, the first time i let him come and go as he pleased. What a twit i was!! He had it both ways and no wonder he told me 3 weeks after moving out that he didn't miss me "at all" (no i hadn't even asked!). After i discovered he was STILL seeing OW i tightened right up. Surgically removed his keys - he didn't like that but then he didnt have to, he wasn't living here. Told him he would not be entering the house without my permission at any time and he would only see the children outside of our home as i didn't want him in it.
This was easier for me as he went to live in another house we own that we previously rented out and gave out to the kids this was for tax purposes. They were able to go there to visit with him. When he threatened to come into our home whenever he wanted as he pays the mortgage i told him he would need to tell the kids what he had been up to first and then we would see how they felt about that. He backed down immediately - just remember Our Crisis, however little YOU want the kids to know the low quality of their fathers current behaviour - HE wants it even less!! As you are not telling the kids what is happening i don't see how its feasible for him to have them at his new place. If he's still set on only 2 weeks(and i agree with you here, its much too short a time) then thats only 1 weekend to get through. Tell him to take them away somewhere maybe? A theme park or treat for the weekend? Visiting relatives?

Keep your contact with him as low as possible (you will be amazed at the excuses they come up with to speak) and ABSOLUTELY don't let him in for "emails etc". Tell him to be very careful to pack everything he needs 'cos he's not coming back till he's made up his mind to marriage with only 2 people in it. Anything direly urgent can always be hung from the gate in a plastic bag!
In my case OC, my husband HATED this treatment. He rapidly decided she wasn't worth it. He has needed a bit of help with the logistics of dumping her (they tend to be overly concerned for the tarts feelings at this stage) but with my help has scraped her off his shoe. He really needs NC or as little as humanly possible with you and the family to help him wake up and smell the coffee. Careful planning now will help you with this - post us on how it goes!