Hey, Lin --

I think YOU need to start a NEW thread then, okay? You have been so incredibly supportive and strong for me and have been there for me. It sounds like you are having a hard time right now - why don't you start your own thread so that we can help YOU, too?

In the meantime, please help me out with "EDD" and explain that situation a bit more???

I'm certainly not in a position to be giving good advice on where you're at right now, Lin, but I can tell you that my experience with H has been that he does NOT like to be around me when I get emotional - never has (I know, you're thinking "duh, 2940 - *I've* been telling YOU this for weeks!" ;\) - but sometimes it helps to have it said back to you). Men don't like to see women cry or be upset or sad. As you know, they just want to "fix" things, and it tortures them to see us upset and just needing to talk when all they want to do is fix whatever is wrong with us and get on with it! I'm sure you know that already, but sometimes a reminder helps?!?!

Remember, too, that Michele talks about timing being everything. Are you approaching him at times when he is busy with something else or focused on something else? When he's tired? Had a bad day?

Have you been putting YOURSELF in the right frame of mind BEFORE talking to him? Are you keeping a positive attitude even when talking to him about challenges? Are you making sure to not "accuse" him of things, but rather to ask questions, as needed?

Are you making sure to spend fun, quality time with him when you AREN'T emotional and needing to talk about things?

What if you set aside a specific time, say once a week or twice a week or once every other week - whatever you think seems appropriate - to discuss any marital "issues" that you are having? Both of you could come to the table with, say one or two issues to discuss - that's it. And you set a time limit on how long your discussion will be. Then, unless something atrocious/unexpected/etc. comes up at other times, all R issues are OFF LIMITS! Then, he won't have to worry that if he agrees/decides he wants to spend time with you that you might bring up something or be emotional about something in the R? This might allow him to relax more and not avoid spending time with you??? And from your perspective, you would know exactly when you could talk about any R issues you want to talk about, and he would have that same expectation. I don't know - what do you think?

Obviously, if you've had a day like today where you need support (and I'm not sure until I understand EDD if this has anything to do with your R?), I would presume he would still be comfortable being there for you and to discuss those types of issues with you. But, if he's not ready for that quite yet, then come here and talk to us, or talk to some friends, or go SHOPPING! \:\)

Just make sure not to crowd H and push him away, like I did, okay Lin? He's on the right side of the fence now - with you. Remember that. If you give him more space, hopefully it will just bring him that much closer to you. I don't think men EVER get tired of us being somewhat of a "challenge" to them... Maybe it's time to avoid HIM for a while???

Chin up, Lin. Remember how far you've come... You are a superstar, and I admire you so much. You are an inspiration to me. So, hurl that elephant off your chest (is that the same elephant that pooped on me??? )AND START YOUR OWN THREAD!!!!!

Luv ya,
2940