If things are going well, then focus on that, because I think we have to live in the here and now with these MLC people. In my situation, things haven't been good since he moved out. Sure, he's been civil, even nice, but taking my kayak, leaving the condoms, sneaking in here to get his stuff after promising he wouldn't really make me mad. I think my H is deep in the sickness and I know there's nothing I can do to help him, and so having him gone is easiest on me. I also know he needs to be on his own to learn his lessons. This way I can still be his friend when he does have contact with me. I think you are doing the right thing, he's giving you the impression that he's not leaving, and I say roll with it like I did. The only other alternative would be to kick him out and I don't think that's right. He's got to feel safe with you, to make it easier for him to come back if he does leave.
I don't think OW is ready to go back to her H. It's only been 46 days since she left, and I think she's real confused too. I have no idea what will happen if she does go home. Certainly I'm hoping that would be the "hitting bottom" my husband would need to come out of this, if that kind of thing really works. I have decided that I don't want him to move back in unless he wants to rebuild our relationship. I wont go through another 11 months of his cell phone ringing with calls from other women. My H has never been physically violent, so don't worry about that. He's only been verbally abusive in the beginning when I pressured him for answers as to why he wanted to leave.
Danu
Everything happens for a reason, and through this journey I will learn many things about myself
