W took the kid's to the mountains this weekend. She's had it planned for several months. It's a normal thing. Her and her close girlfriend, since childhood, hook up every year and have a weekend with the kids. It bugs me a little because the girlfriends H usually shows up for one night then goes home, and I'm not invited but hey, I'm over it. I had fun on my own!
I planned my weekend out and went to it with a passion. Did'nt worry about them at all, and did'nt call to check up on them. Just enjoyed MY weekend the way I wanted to. Honestly, I was actually a little disappointed to have my peace and quiet disturbed when they came home. I'm a man, and I can survive and thrive on my own.
W came home in her usual, annoying fasion. Barges in the door, carrying stuff, barking orders, and gives a faint over the shoulder hello. I stand there ready and waiting for a hug or something and she finally, begrudingly puts down the stuff and gives me a hug.
So then she looks around the place and notes a few things that are out of place. This after I've cleaned every dish, swabbed the countertops, fluffed the pillows, re-stocked the fridge, etc. She just has to find something wrong or her control mechanism complex whatever does'nt get fed. Then she said something insulting about one of my family members, so then I just went to the other room and buried myself in the boob tube, thinking about how nice my weekend was without her.
So she takes her normal 25 minutes to get ready for bed, then her normal 15 to 20 minutes of reading. So I'm laying in bed waiting for her to finish reading and I'm ready to say all kinds of dirty, nasty, not nice things. She has NO clue. Anyway, I know it's a bad idea to show weakness/anger, so instead I start thinking of something really smart that I can say to make her feel guilty about her actions and lack of attention to ME. Then, thank God, I realize how many times I've tried that, and how it NEVER turns out good.
So I waited until she was done reading, then I moved over next to her and put my arms around her and told her I loved her and that I was glad she's home. She gives me a kiss and say's "me too, well sort of", and I say "ya, me too sort of" and we both giggled a little and went to sleep.
I've noticed since last week, and into this week, she's been doubling up on physical touch, kisses and hugs. I think she knows she's safe, she know's I'm not available until after lent, and I sense a little relaxation. Plus I think it's becoming easier for her, she feels more in control. The trend is good.
Our history of reuniting, after weekends apart, has been frought with frustration. I think this past weekend ended well. I changed MY expectations, and MY reactions and the results were positive. The normal routine would have been for me to say something to make her feel guilty, then we'd argue a little, have a rough night sleep, then make up on Monday. This time, we had nothing to make up for on Monday, so I got more hugs and kisses.
It's gettin warmer Frank. I gotta not watch the pot, but it's getting warmer. I'm workin out, lookin good, doin guy things. I parked my boat in the driveway and did'nt apologize when she got home. Just told her it'd be there for a few days. I'm a man, and real men work on boats, even though we don't know what the hell we're doing.
She's a tough nut Frank but she's gonna crack. At night I just touch her gently, kiss her bare back softly, never even close to her uncomfortable area. I stay in the safe zone. She's liking it, allowing it. It's still gonna take a LONG time, but she can't control her feelings forever. She'll break, Oh Ya, she's gonna fall, or rise, or whatever it is that a HOT woman does!
Please God, make it so!
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
