Cobra, my MO is to do things to a standard that I see as proper. If something I do is greatly below a fairly common standard, I want to be told if my work is lacking.
Agreed.
I give equals the same respect I want.
Is this a one-way or a two-way street? Should this apply to one person as well as the other, or does it only apply to you? Going back to my example, doesn’t it make sense that the dad should be upset with his kids for not helping and not showing the care of work that the father does? I am not talking about OCD level work, but just reasonable care in doing yard work.
IMO, when the kids do not want to help and are actually trying to find ways to get out of the work, they are not following your principle, they are not giving the respect to their father that he gives them. Is that right?
But at the same time, the father is concerned to not make the boys upset. If he justifies that as being respectful to them, just as he would like to be respected, then he is selling himself short because he is not protecting himself with a boundary. That boundary is to not accept excuses from his kids to get out of work. If that means he has to enforce those rules by getting on to his kids, even getting angry, is he the wrong person for getting upset or are the kids wrong for not respecting their father enough to help willingly? Which is the right answer? Which one you choose will make a difference in whether you feel like a victim or not.
