Sorry that you're in this weird part of the ride at the moment, I have had all your thoughts too ........I also choose to go into denial about the whole thing...oh well, we need to do something to self-protect right ?
Ok, Happy_Again, hi !! who are you ???? How come you know all about what Puffy is thinking ?? I have an H that would love to be involved in family activities with us, but he's not prepared to drop his 24 year old OW !!! How can you suggest that we let our husbands have both worlds ??
Sorry - I am trying to cope with a NO CONTACT for the sake of my sanity ....I actually told my H I don't want contact, because I need to stop going through this roller coaster with him, he has made his choice by having an OW right ?! Why would he also want to be here so much ???!! Sorry Happy_Again, but you've gone and confused me TERRIBLY !!!!
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Happy is an old poster, and married to a wonderful woman named Allie, who posted here as well.
Allie's husband was having an MLC, her husband posted here as Finally_Free and now as Happy Again.
See Happy Again, actually made it out of his MLC.
As Finally Free he butted heads with many people here, but his insight was amazing as to the MLC side of things. He speaks the truth and doesn't pull punches, but he cares and was in a place many of the MLC husbands are in.
He came out of it, and came back here to tell us how life is going with him and his wife Allie. "An amazing woman" his words.
Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 03/14/0707:15 PM.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Question......how many times do you have to be turned down after inviting should you finally stop? Especially when it hurts you everytime they say "no, I don't think it would be a good idea as it might give false impressions" it depends on how you are asking.no pressure non threatening and be very casual. no guilt trips if they say no. leave things open ended and leave room for them to change their minds.it doesnlt matter what happens in the end for now the number one priority is the children and to make them feel loved and secure by both parents.swallowing ones pride and stopping the one upmanship is important too.when i felt the freedom to say no without being made to feel like an ass then i began saying yes.
Its weird when Liss is away...she brings life to our board....she will be outta commission as me and Sparkles will be taking up 100% of her time drinking wine and laughing, laughing, laughing....
Jack, don't be a hater...I know you wish you could be a fly on the wall...
Vali
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Happy....yes, it makes perfect sense. If one is feeling pressured they tend to run. I got that. But it's that feeling of really wanting them to finally say "yes" to anything suggested with or without pressure leaving it openended and all that.....that your minds starts to make you not want to even ask anymore for fear of letdown.
Trust me.....I've swallowed my pride so many times. Probably too many times.
Thanks for the answer Happy, although we don't have children, I thought the question could still apply in any sitch.
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
jeanette i do not know the details of your marriage but i will tell you that once you stop fighting his bad decisons and treat him as a friend, just a man who has made some mistkaes and he no longer feels judged by you only then will you see any difference.he will have his defences up on high until he can trust you. no asking questions no making him feel like he is at an inquisition.just being casual and friendly.
Jack just introduced you to me, so WELCOME !! Wow, it's nice to have you here !! I hope you will be able to help us, give us hope and teach us well !!!!
Just a quick question, how do we NOT judge our H's if they are having a PA with OW ?? I am finding this bit the hardest, I KNOW that if there was NO OW in the picture, my relationship with H now would be completely different !!!! We'd see lots of each other, for us, but also for the kids, and we'd be great friends, we were up to the point that OW re-entered his life !
HELP !!
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Jack? Are you saying we are boring? Or that Liss talks too much? Sorry....cranky today...dunno why, just too much thinking about how things are all so wrong and no matter what I do, I can't make it right.
I'm feeling hated at this moment.
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
Sorry....cranky today...dunno why, just too much thinking about how things are all so wrong and no matter what I do, I can't make it right.