(fearless) The only help I might offer is to specifically ask what needs done or if they are doing something correctly. Because you may be doing some things but not the "ONE" thing that would be a REAL help or, not in HD's case!, some women may not criticize your help but may feel that you're just making more work for them at times.
Erf. This reminded me of my marriage. I'll never forget my xW telling me (more than once) that if I did 90% of a task she wanted me to do, I might as well not have done any of it, because unless she could totally cross something off her list, my help wasn't helpful.
That made compromise very tough. I did the laundry until I dried too many of her things that weren't supposed to go in the dryer. Could we switch to me doing all my laundry and all the boys' laundry while she did her own? Nope. That's only doing 75% of the job, so she might as well do all of it. Same with loading the dishwasher...I wasn't as efficient at it and since I didn't load it the way she did, I couldn't help at all.
So if the ONE thing a woman wants help with is relatively straightforward ("don't leave shoes in front of the door"), then fine. If it gets involved, she needs to allow her H some room to be his own person and not just an extension of her, doing everything exactly the way she'd do it.
(cemar) This is the MANLY thing to do, in her eyes.
Who cares? What's the MANLY thing to do, in *your* eyes?
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
