This is in no way a criticism...because I don't know how much time you watch a game on tv or play video games but this is an observation from my own home. My H has many projects going on around our house, building a loafing shed, building a garage, finishing a storage shed, landscaping...etc. BUT he spends a great deal of his free time playing his "war games" on the computer, or watching his hunting shows.
Now, while I don't begrudge him either of these activities I do definitely get tired of seeing all the unfinished projects and listening to him talk about all the stuff he has to do....when he wastes so much time. It's become a running joke in our house now because he says "I guess talking about (or looking at it) it won't actually get it done will it?"
I can tell you from this woman's POV that I take pride in my house, and yes...I feel guilty when it's not as clean as I'd like inside. I also feel guilty when my H tries to help me out and does stuff I consider to be my job (although I bite my tongue and just appreciate the fact that he helps....because I do appreciate it. The guilt of him helping is my own issue.) I don't just take pride in the interior of the house though, I also take pride in the exterior...and there are so many projects not yet finished that well...look unkempt. It can build resentment in me when he sits inside talking about the projects, playing his games or watching tv (while I do my chores...at least some of them while he's doing those things) and his "projects" remain unfinished....because honestly, I end up doing my stuff AND watching our child too while he does his thing. It feels unequitable, especially since we both work outside the home.
I often ask my H what he has planned for the day too. Not to find out if he's going to work on a project or if he even plans to...but so I know if he needs to run any errands, or if there are any events he'd like to go to as a family (Home & Garden shows, Car shows, etc.) That way if I need to I can alter what I have to do to accomodate his wishes as well.
