Your h sounds like mine. I found out about ow from my d on mother's day. This was after I thought he was reconnecting for about 7 months. In fact I found out later he told my sister, emailed my brother and told my neice. But did not tell me. I know he wanted them to tell me so he would not have to. When that did not work he let my d tell me. Talk about a coward.
Anyway I know it hurts. I know you have been questioning if it is mlc but it does sound like mlc to me.
The ow is nothing don't give her any headspace. It does not mean you have to give up if you don't want to.
