Great topic! And yes I think judging women about how their house is kept is something that women can be worse about (although some men do it also). Again I was exposed to this issue early because of my mom. Her parents were the worst about judging her about her housekeeping skills and she let herself be deeply affected by their judgment. And she also assumed others judged her just as harshly.
While this issue may not be the only or biggest factor in LD women, I cannot help but agree that it is probably interacting somewhere in the midst of everything. Even for me, a non-LD woman, whether the dishes were done was a factor at times in my desire for sex. I would prefer at times to finish them before going upstairs for the evening. xH would say "just relax we can do them in the morning". I would explain that I knew he meant well by this and was trying to relieve pressure but sometimes just getting the dishes completed made it much easier to relax rather than knowing they were just sitting there waiting for morning. Anyway I am just saying just by having a husband aware of this aspect and RESPECTFUL of it and being willing to help out could be a big help. Many of the guys here probably already some things. The only help I might offer is to specifically ask what needs done or if they are doing something correctly. Because you may be doing some things but not the "ONE" thing that would be a REAL help or, not in HD's case!, some women may not criticize your help but may feel that you're just making more work for them at times.
It is not an absolute that housekeeping is a problem for all women. Funny enough that a friend's brother is the one who does the majority of the housework in his family on top of being the one with the full time job. His wife is relaxed, ditzy, and does not seem to have a perfectionist drive so he feels he has to do it to get it done at all and to do it right. It is interesting because I have known him forever and would have pegged him as the "woman's work" and "man's work" type of guy but I guess not. And it does work for them.
Lillie,
I think you brought up a good point. For all relationships that are usually all sorts of issues jumbled up. It is hard to figure which came first, which is biggest, which will be hardest to change, etc. Sometimes it can help to clean up some of the smaller more minor issues especially if they are things you can control on your own. Then it can be easier to see the larger issues.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
