I am just checking in on you....Hopefully you are doing well and you are keeping yourself focused on what you truly want to see happen with all of this. I know how you feel. You would have loved to open your arms to her months ago but now, you are confused on how you really feel about her. Same is true in my sitch. I love my H but waiting on him to decide what he wants in his life is starting to get old.
Take care!
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."