URGENT! OW had an abortion, H miserable

[Heartbroken]

Hello,

Came to read your thread after you posted on mine last night. You are in such a terrible sitch - very much like my own. I think you are doing many things right. The emotional roller coaster is the worst.

I am not sure about the sex part - I let myself seduce him one last time when I knew he was going off to his apt to spend time with Ow (thought it was to be the last time). Even though I knew he was seeing her he still would try to sugar coat it and cover it up. I kept saying to use protection but he never did and now that he wants to start working on us and we are getting a little physical - I am scared to demand he get tested. I am still on eggshells - he is not ready to truly talk R stuff yet. I need to let him get over Ow first - so tonight I going to get some comdoms. I know we will not hold out for ML for this first month and I just want to be prepared. H looks at the unprotected sex like it was no big deal (H had a vasectomy 7 yrs ago) b/c he believed she had never been with someone but her H. Well then he found out there was another guy during this A (when we were reconciling in Jan) - wow she lasted two weeks ("But it's not like she was a tramp" H says - yeah right). Even when she was taking a herpes prescription she said it was just a cold sore medication - he just literally takes her word on everything.

I hope someday he truly questions everything she said...for now I have to be happy he has let her go and wants to come back to me...

You are in a hard spot b/c he has you and her - I cannot tell you what to do ---only you can decide what is best for YOU. Maybe he can move to the guest room or couch... If he sees the risks of losing you that may have him come around too. It's hard to tell. I doubt it will push him closer to Ow. She seems like she is becoming a pain and that is good!