Several months ago I had an affair on my wife. I just admitted to it about 5 weeks ago. We are working on it the best we can. I know what I did and am very remorseful. My wife was a good wife. We had our problems. I did not talk to her and let her know how I felt. I look back now and see all my mistakes and am working on correcting them one by one. This has left my wife feeling like she can never have the marriage she always wanted. I know I have taken alot from her, but I believe we can make it thru this. She on the other hand has many doubts and is afraid of trying again. I understand all that. Our marriage in the last 5 weeks has had its good and bad days. My goal is to show her every day how i feel for her, but the memories of my affair haunt her constantly. I know it is early, but she thinks she will never recover from this. I assure her she can and we can have a great marriage. She tells me now I'm the husband she has wanted but now it may be too late. I don't accept that. I won't let her accept that. We have spoken about divorce but at the same time said we were going to get thru this. We love one another very much. How can I as her husband help get her back to me. I love her.
I just want to jump in and introduce 2nd_chance to everyone . . . this is my husband. I know when I post it sounds like I've completely given up and sometimes it feels that way, but always in the back of my mind I know that, as bad as this feels with him, it would hurt so much worse without him. He has been my strength lately, coaxing, encouraging, supporting me when I felt like there was no reason to go on. He's endured my pain and my anger and my acceptance, then the pain & anger again. He tries to see the good in every day and tries to make me see the good in our future.
He has become a man I don't even recognize: Wise and caring and compassionate and funny. I've become a woman nobody recognizes: Uncertain and indecisive and uncooperative. But he's still trying and I still love him.
H-44 M-36 Married 6/7/03 8/17/06 - H not sure he wants to be married any more 8/17/06-present - Just crawling through the rubble that's left of my life 2/8/07 - H admitted affair
welcome, 2ndchance, just by being here you are showing your W that you truly do care and love her and want to make a better M.
The A my H had devastated me, specially since we were exclusive from other people before we married. BUT, after all was said and done, the A wasn't the core of our problems, it was a symptom of something worse.
Since then, I have changed, seen my wrong ways and my H is a new person too. Our M is 10times better than before he left. The time he left was hell, the first months after learning of the A where even worse. But month after month I've healed, I am able to think of the A without condemnation, without anger, sometimes w/sadness, but that awful sting is gone.
It is possible, my H didnt' validate me nor tried to support me in that aspect, but God helped me heal and I wouldnt' change what i have now for anything in this world.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
My wife and I went to our counseling session last night. It was a good one. We discussed things and that felt really good. The anger came up a few times but not to bad. We kept it in check and I was proud of her for talking. I know you are hurt honey, but I love you and am proud of you. We have some work to do from the counselor and we have another appointment next week. One of the things she has to do is find a suitable penance that may help her. She may need some help. If anyone has any ideas please feel free to share them with me or her. Her login is InHisHands if you want to answer under that name.
