Very clear perspective there 1210...I felt something reading Tam's email...but couldn't put my finger on it...I did think she was doing better handling things...cutting the conversation short, not looking up at him the minute he walks in...etc...
I also felt a bit to much anxiety...Tam, you are grasping at finding assurances from HIM...and I agree that is where you really need to stop...right now he can't GIVE YOU ANYTHING...you are the only one who can change you...he tried (or thinks he did)so now it is up to you...I agree a therapist would be helpful...not so much for your marriage as you...you need to deal with your issues on control, needs, self esteem....the marriage can never be anymore until you are well...
I haven't forgotten the pain, the raw pain, the not wanting to get out of bed each day....having to deal with my children in a positive way....my parents....just trying not to fall apart...but I did it...it has to be done...that is why everything fell apart....I wasn't who I needed to be and H certainly wasn't dealing with a full deck himself...2 weak individuals can't make a strong marriage...one well person can strengthen the marriage....that is where you need to be...
And as was stated...no guarantees about H....but the one guarantee you can have is that with therapy, hard work on your part....you can BE the WOMAN YOU NEED TO BE....no matter what!!!
