Now Surviving Separation

[Heartbroken]

Thanks so much for your words of advice and for your caring thoughts. Though H did not leave our home physically he was in the guest room since Aug - up to the Master Nov - down to the guest room Dec - Up in Jan - when he finally admitted the OW. But the working on us lasted two weeks - he did not really give her up. So now with him out in the apt - he made the decision to leave her this time. I basically asked him to in Jan - he was doing the right thing but not what he wanted. He says its diff this time 'cuz he picked the time and how it went down.

Do I have trust issues with them reconnecting - YES, HELL YES!! But he also knows if he is messing with my heart this time there will NEVER be the amicable divorce he so wanted. I was hurt to bad the last time that I will not hurt that way again. He will have to earn his way back in by his actions - no longer do I believe his words.

Today when he called and told me Ow already called this morning I saw a change in actions and told him how happy I was that he was finally honest with me. H did not see me lose control get all sad - I honestly thanked him for telling me. This is H first hurdle - to stop all the lies. I know we have a long way to go but H is needs to really feel he is truly over her and show me he is over her before he can come home. We live in a small town and Ow WAS in the same social circle - lots of people know their sitch and very few were supportive. She is moving further away (8 miles wow) - (vs down the street like she was hoping) but she will have to come to her ex's (down the street) to get the kids. So she will always be there. Our two oldest are in the same class, we will see her at school events, plays, graduations...H has to be over her or we cannot get through this...

Baby steps and it's still day by day. But at least I think he's finally off the fence and for once on my side - yes it may be for now and I will not forget that for awhile. But this whole time from Aug - Dec he was on the OW /Divorce side then Jan/Feb he was ON the fence finally he's made the decision. Now I pray he can mean it and be true to his W and family - only time will tell!!