My goodness NM, I really have to echo Ellie and B-I on this....I think its imperative that you start making plans to separate yourself from this craziness....his indecisiveness, insanity, the OW (I can tell you, if someone called my house 19 times and left nasty messages, there would be hell to pay!). I admire your tenacity in doing what you think is best, but at some point you're starting to get diminishing returns my dear. He needs more help than either you or DB can provide.
I'm really sorry this is working out this way for you because even though I don't know you personally, you seem like a fantastic woman (who, incidentally, made me laugh hard enough to shoot twizzlers out my nose :-O ) You've personally dealt with a lot more sh*t than many others in your same place would have and you did it for what you thought is best. But it seems to me that things are quickly spiraling out of control here.
I know you evaluate where you are everyday and probably every minute of every day, but do give some consideration here to separating yourself from the craziness.
Wishing you all the best {{{{{{{{{{{{{NM}}}}}}}}}}}}
Rob
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Thanks guys - I love ya all and I appreciate your worry, concern and advice. Trust me, I come here expressly looking for that advice as none of my family/friends are able to fully understand exactly what I'm going through right now.
I agree the situation is increasingly unstable & volatile. Right now, I NEED to speak to the lawyer about what I can and cannot do without jeopardizing any legal rights/ claims/ support/custody/visitation issues that I may have. Their office has not received my paperwork yet and until they do, which should be in the next day or two, I can't speak with anyone there. Bullsh!t if you ask me. But, what am I to do? I spent over an hour on the phone - transferring back & forth between offices.
AS for dealing with SO, I have the RO in place if things get out of control. And, as I've said before, I still have a bag packed (it's actually in the back of my truck right now) in the event of a quick flee.
Hah, his shrink just left a VM confirming his appointment for later this week.
So, I'm at 100 responses.....someone give me some ideas for a new title before the impending lockout. Not sure if the DB coaches intended for a person with my problems to come here and vent, lol, because it does go far beyond the, ahem, "normal". But, WTH, I'm here until they throw me out. Perhaps others can look at my sitch and feel a little, tiny bit better about their own.
Anyhow, how 'bout something like "Beauty and the Psychotic"? or "Once Uppon a Time, in a faraway land called Whack-A-Doo City" lmao.
......and, NO, I'm not making light of his mental issues. But, if I can't laugh, what else do I have left????
About the lawyer, remind me, is this a lawyer that you have retained or is it more of a legal services type? Just curious cuz' if it were a personally retained one, I'd be up his arse every day.
Lately 100 responses doesn't seem to be the "cut off" with respect to locked posts these days....not sure if they've relaxed the limit or not, but I've seen many threads go much higher...but I like the "whack a doo city" line myself, lol
By the way, following on something you mentioned in your previous post, is it just me or is the OW a whack job here? Didn't she have an RO against SO, but continues to call your house 19 times? WTF?
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Yeas, OT, I had thought about an RO against her. Last week when I was at the court house, they told me I could - didn't matter if the phone was in his name or not. And, yes, Rob she does have 2 separate charges (aggravated harrassment and stalking in the 4th degree) against him, as well as a full Order of Protection (whereas I have a Restraining Order - I don't what the difference is.) I have no idea when is next court date is supposed to be on that.
And, yes, OW is also under the care of a psychiatrist and takes mood stabilizing prescriptions. Wonderful, huh? The two of them are a real pair.
"My" lawyer is one assigned by the Court. Being a stay at home mom with no income, I can't afford a private lawyer (obviously) so one is assigned to my Support case. Got my letter today, have to call again in the morning... There's also a different lawyer assigned to the kids, got her letter today as well. Between the two lawyers, I should be able to get all of my questions answered and figure out what the next step is. I don't want to cash the check or leave the premises if it's going to damage any of my cases.
And I don't believe he's going to be around tonight (OW's birthday, he hasn't been home all day and took a bag), so things should be OK.
"And, yes, OW is also under the care of a psychiatrist and takes mood stabilizing prescriptions. Wonderful, huh? The two of them are a real pair. "
People tend to wind up with someone at a similar level of functioning. Perhaps you and SO met either when you were not doing so great or SO was doing very well, then either you got better, he got worse, or some of both...
There really isn't much of a difference between the two (restraining order/order of protection), they both basically forbid the person from contacting or harassing the other.
Hopefully the court assigned lawyers will be able to get things moving in the right direction for you soon. I would just keep on them just to be sure they don't lose you in the buearacracy.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Trust me, I come here expressly looking for that advice as none of my family/friends are able to fully understand exactly what I'm going through right now. 
