Other Woman's Perspective

[LoginName]

Hi TSC,
I was very interested in your post, and the responses, but it grow so fast and so quickly that I haven't had time to read them all.

However, I want to comment too, and I hope I add something new or support something in a new way.

My background, and why I feel I may have something to add is that I have had an A. I ended it. I thought my W knew nothing about it. My W just had an A and left me in October. She is back now (sort of, I still get the ILYBNILWY speech). And, like most here, I've read alot about infidelity and such.

My point is.... emotions are so strong and powerful that they override everything. Even someone like you, who knows the pain of being on the other side, can be controlled by those powerful feelings. The only way to be able to make a good decision is to get away from those emotions. Stop seeing this man and don't see him until the emotions subside. Then think about it all. He can't make an intelligent decision now either, with you near. Maybe you don't have to change jobs, but otherwise cut off or limit contact.

In my A (yes, we aren't all above blame) I knew it was wrong. I told myself it was wrong. I told myself I was hurting my W and kids terribly - even if they knew nothing about it. And yet, when I was with her, I couldn't keep my arm from encircling her and my lips from pressing against hers. (I still feel the urge now and it's been 2+ years. I guess I'll have to accept that my W will still be thinking of her OM years from now too.). Only by cutting off all contact; email, phone, definately physical, could I think clearly enough to end the A.

So, TSC, I applaud your courage for posting here. I wish more OW, and MLCers, and WAS would. It's important for all of us to try to understand the other's point of view. I don't condone what you are doing, and I don't approve, but I can undertand and empathis with you.

I really hope this works out for the best for you.