Hi, Debra was just reading your post, I too have been m for 24 yrs(25 next Sept) What is it with these middle age men??? My sitch is not quite the same, I thought, assumed, acussed h of something with ff. I was wrong on pa, but this ff has major problems(herm, drinking etc..)and guess who she latched on to, and guess who was flattered to help.Anyways, h just moved out a month ago, needs space to sort things out, he assured me that was the only reason, again nothing with ff.(she found a new man, and guess who she does not have much time to be a friend to??!!)I think it is a BIG step for your h to send flowers..from what I have read on this board the past 6 months, it is going to take a long time and alot of healing for you to have the kind of m you and your h deserve.I have no "advice", but I have found that working on me has been the biggest help there could be. I did lose some weight for me, and that is a big moral booster, and I feelso much better, phsically and mentally.So if that is what you feel you want to work on, then start out slow...Keep finding the joys in your life, hobbies. You mentioned kids, how old??Mine are 20 and almost 23, but still at home and in college. They are the main reason not to let yourself fall apart,I made a decision that I was going to be ok with or without my h. I talk to myself over and over and don't want to slip into some pathetic "feel sorry for me" person. Am I sad at time, of course, angry, mad about the whole mess, YES..but I am going to survive, and I still have two great kids that have their whole lives ahead of them. SO, the choices are ours to grab. I wish you continued strength, and lets keep in touch.. Sue
