Debra, it sounds like he had at least an 18 month relationship with the ow. There's an Affair recovery formula for this. You have to allow one month for every month of the Affair. It will take much patience on your part. Any time he had contact with her it took the recovery period back to square 1 so you should begin your formula w the last contact rather than when he moved back home.
Your marriage recovery time frame is 1 month for every year of marriage. I never figured if then ran congruent w the Affair Recovery period or if it began afterwards.
He has to rebuild limbic connections w you that were damaged when he got involved w the ow. One way that I am working on this is to have him buy THE perfume that he would like me to use.
These guys are very visual (us folks from Venus are very emotional) and that's just the way it is.
I had gone hypo-thyroid so I bombed in the 3 most common reasons that a guy is unhappy w his wife. My weight ballooned; I stopped caring about my appearance; and my intelligence was diminished.
So. While your hubby is doing his Affair Recovery time, you do like Bridget suggested and snazz up your wardrobe and consciously battle your weight (for YOU not him) and grow in some way, either intellectually (class) or spriritually.
He can't help but notice and you can't help but benefit from taking back your life.
An area that scares me is to start doing something just for me. It is necessary though and I'm psyching myself up to join the choir.
