Lis, You had to deal with the bomb on two separate occasions. This was a hard hit for you. Yes, you suspected, but finding out for sure is a whole different ball game. So, you are dealing with learning this disturbing info. You will get back to detach mode.
The other reason you're struggling is becuase puffy is nice sometimes. I know that when they're evil and alien-like, it's sometimes easier to say f- him. I don't need his sh!t. But when they start getting nice, we remember how nice they can be. Then we might accidentally let our minds think that they are coming out of this. Then they spew again. So, that's the other reason it's hard to detach.
Either way, it does sound like he's coming around a bit. Wanting to spend time with the kids is a good sign. He is starting to feel badly for being such an absent father this past year. This is good.
You're doing great. Believe me... you are!
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
