My performance with detaching, and letting it roll off my back, has been less than fabulous. Fine I admit it.
Last year, it was easier for me to detach. I had the nasty monster. He was easier to ignore. The OW situation was something i just assumed. I didn't get the admission until last month. 1 year later.
It has thrown me off. I have been more vocal towards puffy, well at least when he first told me about the whore.
I lost control, I let him have it. I don't regret it, I needed to let it out, I was quiet for 1 year.
After I lost it, He has been a tiny bit different. Less ready to spew the evil. More understanding, more ,I am sorry I hurt you. weird.
I have not initiated contact. Since i made a fool out of myself on my bday and told him i missed him. He at first said I have to go, was stand offish, alittle pissy. hung up on me.
Then a few hours later, called me sweet as pie, to talk about my new camera. When we lived together, that was Puffy's way of saying I'm sorry. He would never come out and say it. He would do something nice.
Last night at 10pm Puffy called. I answered b/c I was on the other line talking to Jeanette, and I thought it might of been Vali calling me. So I answered in a cheery nice voice, Helloooooo !
Then I hear Hey! bleh, my stomach fell.
I said yes, (mind you he never calls this late, and he hardly ever calls for me) He said I just got out of work. Puffy starts talking about, that he wants to spend more time with the kids.
He sees them Wednesday over night and every other weekend.
Since, I do not know where Puffy lives, he can only spend the night with them, at his moms house.
So we talked about adding another day. He also asked about the kids. I said the guidance counselor has suggested they both have one on one counseling, b/c of the seperation. And My D needs one on one academic counseling with the school.
He said, they don't see me enough. ( I wanted to say whole bunch of stuff, but I bit my tongue ;))
He told me that our son talks alot about my friend Louie. Louie is My kids god father, and my best friend, Louie was Puffy's good friend at one time.
My son calls Louie all the time, to go play, or take him to the movies. Louie never says no to my kids, he was this way, even when Puffy lived at home.
Puffy said I appreciate all that Louie is doing. I said me too.
That was it.
I have to admit his behavior lately, has made me say to myself
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMm, what is Puffy up to? The niceness, is very weird.
So, I think that i am collecting my composure, a little bit everyday. Starting to get back in the swing of things, detaching, and trying to just let this go. Bleh.
Jack, was like , Lis, what is the matter with you?
I know, geeesh, the OW, threw me for a loop.
My GERLZ are coming in 2 days, and for the next 4 days I'm sure I will be super detached.
My performance with detaching, and letting it roll off my back, has been less than fabulous. Fine I admit it.
