Now Surviving Separation

[Heartbroken]

Well I am unbelievable right now. H has truly ended it from his side - though he was not completely honest with her (no mention that he wants to be with me) and guess what he thinks the reasons he gave will be enough. Well he sure was surprised that she text msg'd in less than 24 hrs - thank God I was standing there. He did not hide it and we talked about him really being honest about all her attempts. She called this morning and he told me all about it. I thanked him/praised him for being honest about it. H needs to get back to the truth....

We are trying not to get physical - but that's hard. I feel like we are teenagers again. He will stay at the apt for 2-3 mos to let us truly get her out of our lives and for us to 'date' and rebuild. H is still in a selfish mode big time though. I saw my C last night and came home and started talking about hard issues with H and he wanted to just leave for the apt rather than deal with me. This is a major issue he needs to fix before we are through the woods. He avoids conflict (like Ow) and always tries to flee but somehow I need to convince him that I still want to be us but I need to get through a lot of crap first. Just because I have these things to process does not mean I am giving up on us - I fought to damn hard to get this far. I know I can forgive but I just can't forget all this. H is having a hard time understanding this and it will take time.

I also feel bad because so many of you are in the world of hurt still and I think I may need to move to the Piecing forum. I don't want to add salt to your wounds with where I am at. It's a hard call. I truly believe H wants me back and we are finally working on us. So piecing seems the next logical step I guess. Any feedback? Thanks!