As far as affairs go, I never had one nor intend on doing so because I know its a sin of adultry and God would not be pleased. I don't think my wife has commited adultry either, because I don't see where she would find the time. I am telling you this because I don't know how to give you advice about what betrayed spouses need. Is it right to ask more details about the affair even though it will cause that person to hurt more? I don't think that is a good idea but I haven't lived through what experiences you went through. Perhaps others here can give you advice on that one. Or maybe its written in the DB books by Michele. I didn't read that section of the book because it doesn't apply to me. Although, I still have to wonder what good does it do you to know every single detail of the affair. I don't see or understand how you can keep picking at that wound until it doesn't bleed anymore. Is that even possible where it doesn't bleed anymore? I don't think so. It will be too hurtful to you. It doesn't mean you can forget it though either.
None of us are capable to be like Jesus. As hard as it may be for you and for many of us going through life's struggles, what ever they are, give yourself to Jesus. I pray at least 2 1/2 to 3 hrs a day and it really does help me. Remember, God doesn not will it for people to have broken marriages but Satan takes great delight in that. I wish I could tell my wife these things but she is not receptive to things like this. Keep praying as hard as you can and ask Jesus for strenght every single day. CY
