His point was not on judging whether something was appropriate or not. His point was... "how well do you know yourself? How far are you willing to go? What is acceptable within the context of your marriage? Do you even KNOW? If something DOES get out of hand... what will you do? Have you ever thought about it? If you can't handle something getting out of hand... why are you allowing it?"
His base recommedation: "Know thyself. Who Are You? What Do You Stand For? Where Is Your Line of Integrity?"
Cobra,
Yeah I did read it but I did not think it really addressed the issue I brought up as far as the fact that we all have our weak moments in life. I may know myself and what I stand for and have integrity but I still have weak moments. Do I want to have developed this close relationship with a man based on the times (90-99%) I am strong and assured only to have this fail me when a few things (self doubts, close contact with EA partner and maybe a moment of weakness on his end) line up on the same day? Just a personal question I think everyone should ask even if they do not have the same answer that I do.
And the other significant issue - My xH would have SWORN that he knew himself! He's not Buddhist or anything but since we were both reading some Eastern philosophy at the time he would be the one to actually throw that at me "YOU need to look inside yourself for happiness and truth". Not bad advice but extremely ironic when it comes out later that he is the one who needed that advice and not me.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
