Making the leap - Hopefully wount Jinx it!

[limbo]

So I seem to be slipping further and further into a funk, and am no longer sure that I want to continue in my marriage any more.
I just am so tired of just always having this worry in my head and my heart.
Of constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop! I know that I have mentioned that before, but I just don't know how to pull myself out of this.
My H hasn't done anything to really make me worry, but I guess I keep thinking to the future and wondering will this fear always be with me?
Because I don't want a relationship like that, I want one like other people had, like what my parents had, where I totally trusted my H.
I also ask myself, if I am with someone else, would I totally trust them because of all of this! Am I now kind of damaged for the rest of my life.
There was a coupld of time last night where I always said to my h that I wanted out, that I wanted all of this to be over!
I just can't seem to be happy, I have what I thought that I wanted and just seem to be unhappy with it!