It seems you are making great progress in your R and that your W is finding her way. You are to be commended for your patience and perseverance.
Regarding OT's comments to you about the infantalizing and controlling of your W and whether or not she takes her meds - I just want to say that I think OT really has a point to pay attention to, when it comes to the how we say what needs to be said. As long as you keep the healthy boundary spoken in a way that refers to what you will or will not accept for your life, all is well. When any of us step over the line into one being in charge of the other, in any arena, without balance of power shifting to the other partner at a different time or on a different day, then I think trouble and resentment will be brewing. Does that make sense? Even with your W's illness, if you are to have a healthy M, the ownership has to be for ourselves and our own actions. Agreements can be made, but if agreements are broken the choices made are for me over here, not imposed on you over there. Just my reflections on the dialogue between you and OT. Because I think you want your M to last and to be healthy, and I think your W's illness hooks you sometimes in a codependent way. It is a much trickier dance when a spouse is ill (Rob dealing with his W's eating disorder comes to mind) but for your health and well being you will have to own your responses, actions and behaviors and practice forever the "letting go" with W. Just some thoughts as you ready yourself for "Piecing" which I feel is coming soon! Love to you, RB, and to your W and D4. You are doing great work!
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
