Hi guys, Thank you Tam and 1210 for the Happy Birthday. It was nice to have a nice breakfast with out any tension and I think he might have enjoyed a little too. Tam, I guess I was telling you these things to show how when I finally let loose a little how things did change a little at a time. Not saying that I don't talk to him but I'm trying not to be obessive about it. I can tell you that it did feel better and I think it was better for him too. It is the one of the hardest things I think I have had to do but just like Lin and 1210 have been telling you it is the way you have to go.
When 1210 told you this: "The reason you can't function is because you live through him. He is your life support...very unhealthy. You feel like you are going to curl up and die without him...very unhealthy"
This was me also and In real life I wasn't like this at all till I found out about the OW and I was loosing him. It was like you aren't in control and all you think about is this and I won't make it and you let your emotions take over. BUT now you have to take your emotions back and it isn't easy because I have just started and I will tell you it is like a cloud has lifted. I might not have it completely conquered but I have a start. That is what you have to make your mind up to do or you will never get over it and it might make you sick.
I had a really hard making my self no tthink what my H and the OW were doing. It haunted me but you have to not think of it at all. If you start just say I'm not thinking of it. Its negative and I'm thinking Positive. This is for me. You can't improve yourself if you are thinking all negative. It is a slow progress but it is amazing how clear you think when you get rid of just some of the negative thoughts. Give it a good shot and try it.
I agree with Lin you have to focus on you and not Him and what he wants but what is best for you right now. My friends kept telling me that I needed to take care of myself and that is exactly what you need to do....
I would still think about going to his parents. You will have to have your emotions under control if you go.
Just remember you are thinking on how to help YOU. We are here to support you. Hope you are getting a good night sleep. It was great that you dressed up and felt better. He will notice. He might not say anything but he will notice. But most important you are doing it for you to feel better about you.
