Geez, Matilda, I can see why you'd be uncomfortable. Could you go and "act as if" and let her see the incredible wife that your H has?
I think that if he invites you again, even if you've already eaten, you should go. That's just me--but I think it would make him feel good to know that you want to spend time with him and it would send a definite signal to this potential EA woman that she better back off.
Actually I tried something today. I knew I would be working late and asked H if he wanted to meet for a drink after I finished. He called with a place to meet. I was fully expecting "the gang" to be there with him, but it was just him! That really made me happy! No serious conversation.....but nice to know he could be alone with me!
Tonight is a bday celebration for my H. I am going to try my best to "act as if..." Since we will be with a group that I am uncomfortable with I will be really testing myself. Wish this wasn't so difficult!
I tried to shine, but I was outdone by someone else! I still had a good time. My BIL started talking to me about how healthy that person is for H. He sure sees it differently than I do. BIL thinks she respects our marriage so there is nothing to worry about. I am trying hard to understand that. I thought it was interesting that he brought it up. BIL is a good guy and disliked H's xow. I really think he wants our marriage to work out. H keeps asking what BIL and I were talking about. He'll never know (at least from me and I think BIL will keep it confidential).
Meanwhile, I'm working hard on my exercise program. That makes me feel better about myself. Matilda
Matilda, I'm proud of you for the effort you put into your H's birthday party. You tried to shine, and that counts for a lot in IMO. You faced the situation, and made the best of it. I don't think anything more can be asked of you.
I'm glad to hear about your exercise program!
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Slowly