There ARE people out there who would love you for you. So don't ever fool yourself into believing her bs. You have so much to offer stubborn... and you are trying so hard to save your R...
So.. get yourself a break. You need to not think about your sitch for a minute at least. Do something nice for you... you matter and I don't want you losing yourself in this marathon you are running... take care of you, sweetie. Hang in there. Put yourself first!!
Thanks for the affirmation Jules. We all know it's true but sometimes this constant rejection/invalidation from the aliens makes it hard to remember!!!
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
Stubborn, You wrote "Do you ever wonder if you will ever get to say the many things that you have wished you could?" I think I said them all on the weekend and now I'm sleeping in the basement!
Ahhh... hugs to you all... Things will get better. Have faith in that. You all matter and are doing great things. Take some time to take care of yourself and get out of the pressure cooker for a while. It sucks! Tomorrow is a new day!!
Thanks for the affirmation Jules. We all know it's true but sometimes this constant rejection/invalidation from the aliens makes it hard to remember!!!
When I find that mothership......all hell is breaking loose.
Sorry to hijack, but sometimes to ease my pain, I try to look at my W as the crazy one. There are times I can't help but to laugh at the way she acts....its cruel and morbid...but does help when I need a lift in PMA.
So just journaling here. Any commentary most welcome:
Spouse sent and email after one of her sleepovers saying "the tearing feeling is getting worse" meaning she is torn about what to do. I laid low until the next day and sent back that I was sure it was hard and I was also sure she was capable of making a decision, and that I knew it wouldn't be easy for her (as opposed to the ease with which we all live with constant turmoil and rejection, right?) I also thanked her for sharing her feelings with me and told her I appreciated it when she communicates. (which is true, at least I feel better knowing she is not positive about OW) This communication comes after she took a hiatus from OW (forced by OW) but then broke it for a sleepover. (sounds like JR HI doesn't it?) In retrospect I suppose I should view it as a good sign that she expressed confusion directly upon having spent time with OW.
I suggested to spouse that she might want to discuss her concerns with a neutral 3rd party, ie: her therapist. But she is having trouble getting an appointment. Read: she doesn't want to go unless it is totally convenient for HER and there is nothing else planned. Plus she wants to make an appt on very short notice. Ummmm, no, doens't work that way, does it? I suspect I should revisit this topic with her and point out that she might need to be a tad flexible here. (I know you're screaming "no, don't go there, but spouse needs a few more wake up calls)
So we slog on and last night spouse comes to me and asks if I would be opposed to getting a new pet. Hmmmmmm...not really but, uh, will you be here to feed it? Or will we share that responsibility when you have "sleepovers?" (of course I didn't actually say that) I said we were supposed to be getting a new pet for D7 anyway and a new cat would be preferable to a dog for ease. So she will think about it. An hour later she is emailing, guess who, and then comes and says "I'm going out for a while but I'll be back". This "I'll be back" is always delivered as though it were good news, deserving of a ticker tape parade. Wahoooooo! I, as per usual in this situation, neither looked at her, nor said anything in response.
So, FFFFFFFFFFFFF, I have been avoiding the pet issue because I have no desire to add to the household responsibilities since I don't know if I'll be living single any time soon. Act as if? As if I want a new pet? GRRRRRRR, FFFFFFFFFF!!!!! Here is yet another topic I may need to revisit by saying "I think it would be great to get a new pet and I hope we can us it to celebrate our family coming back together"...or some such nonsense. FFFFFFF Here is yet another signal that she is planning to stay, is going nowhere, but thinks it will all be on her terms. OBLIVIOUS!!!
Thank you ladies and gentlemen for your time. Jules, I went to yoga after a month break and I HURT ALL OVER!!! Damned yogis!
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
Ugg stubborn... you just slog thru more [censored] every day, don't you. Crapola. You are exhibiting some major patience here. Are you sure you're taking good enough care of you? I don't want your eyes to pop out of your head from all of the pressure building up in there.
You're doing great. And I'm sorry your S is being such a nincompoop. She definitely needs a wakeup call. I kinda think you need to tell your S that you are hesitant to add a pet to a family that isn't as stable as it should be or some such statement. In my mind, S needs to hear this. Of course, I am past the point of playing totally nice, so take my advice with a grain of salt. I just don't think you should jump to take on that responsibility just to please the S... kinda being a doormat there, wouldn't you agree?
LOL about the yoga. Ahhhh... good stuff. Reminds me... I think it's time for my daily meditation (nap). j/k
Have a great day, stubborn. Hope things look better for you soon. Fingers crossed for some more positive baby steps.
