cobra, do you think it's a given that MRS. HD does not want the marriage to fail? If you think she wants the marriage not to fail, what is your evidence of this?
cobra replied
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I don't see what other position you can take. If you assume she does want the marriage to fail, then this is all pointless.
Cobra, here you're doing to me the thing that irritates you when others do it to you. I was asking a literal question: do you think it's a given that Mrs. HD wants the marriage to succeed; if so please give your evidence.
You answered my question as though I had stated that I have already come to the conclusion that Mrs. HD does not want the marriage to succeed. That may or may not be the case, but in any case, please answer my question.
I'm assuming this is a partial answer:
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But I also think she would have left by now.
It seems to me that what hairdog needs to do at this point is to establish plainly and clearly to his satisfaction out loud in the open on the record for both of them to see with no misunderstanding that Mrs. HD does indeed want the marriage to succeed, that she does NOT want a D. Judging from her last email, that is not a given. I believe her desire to save the M needs to be made explicit.
He is making a simple request for a behavioral change, or at least the prospect that there is likely to be some behavioral change in the future. She has said she will not commit to that change. So what WILL she commit to, if anything? If she will not commit to anything, then what is the evidence that she wants the marriage to succeed? The fact that she hasn't left yet is clearly not very strong evidence. That can just be inertia.
She has got to stick her neck out in some miniscule way at some point.
