Dragging me from the curb into Court..... AGAIN!

[siren_tears]

Laughing, A little bit defensive aren't we? I am going to stick my head out here and reply to you. This is what I have observed for a long time with you. I think that you are so afraid of losing everything that you are fighting so hard to keep it but in the process you are losing it any way.

What fears are keeping you from moving on and letting go of the past? You are so determined to stay on your farm even though it is constantly causing you and your children stress ( and I'm not talking a little stress either). By doing everything that you can to hold on to that farm you are creating problems in your life. I have read all your excuses about why you don't want to move and I think that they are just your fear talking. I think that you are afraid that if you let go that you will lose that connection to your xh. I don't believe for a second that staying on that farm and all the crap that is happening with it is good for you or your kids. Think how much stress would be relieved if you had your own place that your xh had absolutely no connection to.

I think that you are afraid to let go. I don't think that it is just your xh that is trying to control this I think you are.

You are trying way to hard to control the relationship between your children and their father. Their relationship is just that THEIR RELATIONSHIP. As much as it sucks( and believe me we do know that it sucks) it is and has to be between them. YOU are not responsible for the pain that he is causing them. He is.

Continuing to fight him is only causing them and you more stress. The only reason he is even trying to do all of this is because he knows that you will take the bait again. How many times have you played this game with him? I have lost count. I suspect that you have lost count also.

Now please don't think that I am telling you to lay down and not protect yourself and your children, I'm not. I'm trying to point out to you that you keep fighting and keep getting beaten down and yet you don't ever change your tactics. You have been beating your head against the same wall for years and you think that if you paint it a different color that it is a different wall but it isn't. What you are and have been doing isn't working and hasn't worked. Everytime you go to court you end up in a worse and worse situation than you were before. My thought is that God is trying to tell you that he has different plans for you but you are so stubborn that you aren't allowing him to get you the message. When what you are doing isn't working it is time to try something totally different.

I have watched my BIL fight his ex in court for 9 years. He has spent well over a $100,000 and you know what, he still never gets to see his kids. His ex accused him of horrible things and lied about everything. Even though there was proof he finally had to stop fighting. Even with all of the proof that he had he still kept losing in court and destroying his family at the same time.

I don't know why the court system is so blind and ignorant sometimes but they are. I don't think that you are going to make any progress as long as you keep having show downs with him in court. You need to learn to have faith that God is going to make your xh pay for all of his actions. Even if the judge doesn't see it God does. I don't believe that God wants you to keep pushing yourself down this road. I believe that he has much better plans for you but until you let go he can't get you on that new and better path. And please don't tell me that you have let go. We all know better.

I recognize that you are going to have answers for everything that I have written here but I hope that you will at least consider my thoughts on this.

ST