Conflict avoiders seem to be specially designed to fall into EAs. Crazy Eddie I tend to agree with you.
(not that you gave her a real chance, you just assumed!) Did you have any one poster or situation in mind Eddie?
On a real level, many of us have brought things up with our respective spouse and not much changes for the better. Their are the usual fights and head bitings, the "you did" so "they did/reacted", and sometimes the results are not nice to hear or to look at.
I don't see spite comming from my W, but I can imagine her feeling hurt and betrayed if she read some of my posts. I am trying and improving my M but sometimes the more I want the M to become, the further away I feel I am from reaching that goal.
Sometimes w/o the support and ideas discussed on this forum, I think I would have gone into deep-cave mode, given up, or just gone to the "mostly roommate" mode.
If you have read Hairdogs posts, his wife said the more he wanted a sexuall R with his W, the less interested she was because to her, he had to give up wanting sex before she was willing to improve their sexual R.
it's a short leap to assuming that she's doing this out of pure spite and that she wants you to suffer a life without any emotional connections or companionship at all. I don't feel any spite from my W, but see your point because people have a range of emotions. The non-posting spouse can feel from anger/revenge, to they wish they would have done more and want to make some big changes.
