In fact, my C has specifically counseled against any appearance of this, a la "give me sex and I'll do the AoS/QT/whatever; withhold sex and the house will be a dusty, quiet place..."
I agree with this, and this is important: your desire to have a sexual relationship within your marriage is reasonable and does not need to be defended or negotiated for. It is reasonable to want this and ask for it before any "conditions" are met. The more you defend it or negotiate for it (not that you're doing this) the more you give credence to the pov that it is something unreasonable.
