Question for those whose S's have had A's.....

[~Sol]

I think it takes time for any hurt to go away. And this kind of hurt is one of the big ones!!! I talked to a close friend of mine who lives near Seattle (we went to high school together), and he told me that after his father's sudden death (he was 55), the A that his wife had was the second darkest moment in his life. It took him a year to come out of his depression, and he never told anybody - not even ME!! One of his best friends!!! This guy is like my brother, and he was dark for a long time until we talked a few months back.

So there does come a day, some sooner than others. But for me, I have to decide every day that I will be OK, and even though my W's A is over, her emotions are not, so there is that lingering pain still. I think that deciding to really move on has to come from within yourself. It's a life-changing kind of moment, where you look in the mirror and say that you are going to live the rest of your life being happy and you are going to move on from the past. We can't take the past with us, so why bother dwelling on it? But we can take our experiences and apply them to future situations so we don't get hurt again. But here's the stickler - when it comes to matters of the heart - there is always an opening to get hurt, it comes with the territory. We open ourselves up and open our hearts up again. So we just learn how to guard our hearts better I think.