Anyway, as I said above, whenever we talk about visitation (though not in those words), it really hurts me b/c I just imagine this as being forever, bleh.
I know the feeling. I hated it every quarter when we'd put the kid's schedule on the calendar for the following three months. It meant we were planning another three months apart. Good news is, it only lasted 16 quarters. We were pretty good at it by the time we reconciled. I think that the level of cooperation and respect we showed each other during those scheduling times actually aided in the healing of our M.
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Regarding (1): I am not really worried that he will get a criminal record, though if he does it will be really bad news. I am worried that once it is over with, he will want to go ahead with a D. On a positive note, once it is over with, he may feel free to re-engage in our R.
Definately not worth speculating on. We have no way of telling the future. We LBS's tend to think in terms of how each milestone will impact our S's and our efforts to reconcile. Better to live in the moment, and let the future take care of itself. Let go, and trust that no matter what happens, you are going to shine.
It's tough about scheduling kid's. One thing I highly recommend is to be open to having one on one nights with the kid's. I used to worry about splitting up the kid's but they LOVED it! It became a fairly regular thing. Once a week I'd have a one on one and W would have a one on one. The kid's just cherished those one on one nights.
I'm proud of you Nicola, you're doing a great job. Keep working on you. Being busy is a blessing for you right now.
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
