I'm not saying to forget it entirely......but I think the pastor was right that we need to forget the wrongs done to us or that is all we will focus on.
Anyhow, my real question is is there a day that you just decided to do that? Is it something you'd have to do every day? Just decide that living the current way isn't working, neither of you can sleep, so why not just try and not be scared about being (or possibly) hurt again? Leap of faith kind of moment?
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...