I hope today is a little better for you. I think your getting good advice about your mom. Talk to her and let her know what you want. Of course, this means you need to be clear about that in your own head. I don't mean the superficial "I want him back" stuff. As hard as it is, you really need to discover what kind of life you want for yourself and how you plan on getting there. One upside of doing this (besides the obvious), is it takes alot of energy, so you have less to focus on him.
Then talk to your mom and see what you need to do there.
