Hdog, I personally don't think that the sex issue should be taken off the agenda. With someone as LD as Mrs.HD, clearing up the other issues will not result in increased sexual desire within her. I would ask her to make some sort of compromise to you as a symbol of her commitment to the marriage, while letting her know you are working on yourself to improve things as well. If she's not willing to budge at all, then the NOP plan seems like the way to go.
