If anyone is interested in SciFi and/or Fantasy, I may ask you to read the first chapter of my book, as soon as I have finished it, to get some feedback. I am aiming for the end of April, after my exams.
Send it to me! I love sci-fi (Asimov and Clarke were my favorite authors when I was a teen). (Jane Austen is my favorite now).
My S20 is working on a sci-fi novel that he started during NanoWriMo in his freshman year. If you're not familiar with NanoWriMo, check out the book No Plot? No Problem! written by its founder.
Be sure to let me know if that traveling with your H brings you to San Diego. We have a lot in common in our sitches.
Hi Ellie! Thanks for your post. I will check out the No Plot? No Problem website. And, once I finish my first chapter, will send it to you. I also love Jane Austen ... always have. I read pretty much most genre's, but my favourite is Sci-Fi (such as Asimov, and Clarke).
My H does have a project coming up in San Diego, some time mid-year. I will definitely want to go with him to check it out. So, would love to meet up with you.
Hope you're having a great weekend. We're doing home reno stuff, such as painting. Ugh! Can't wait to have it all finished.
Take Care!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
My H does have a project coming up in San Diego, some time mid-year. I will definitely want to go with him to check it out. So, would love to meet up with you.
Awesome!
I read all of Asimov's books when I was a teen - even the non-fiction science ones (yes, I AM the nerd my kids so often accuse me of being!). I even got to see Ray Bradbury speak when I was in high school and got his autograph. And Arthur Clarke is the best.
S20 took a class on cyberpunk last year and turned me on to some good novels - I'll try to remember the names.
I adore Jane Austen - her descriptions of her minor characters are so wickedly funny. The older I get, the funnier she gets! My favorite film from her novels, though, has a more somber tone - the Brits made a great version of Persuasion that I love. S16 is just starting to read Pride and Predjudice in school this week.
Beingme.. I was just catching up on some of your posts. While I don't have anything to add I admire your strenght and your dedication. You are very wise and very patient. You also have great discussions going on here.
Good Luck to you.
Neli
******************************* Both: 33 Together 13y; Married 8y Kids: DD8 and DS5 Separated: 08/31/06 D Filed: 2/21/07
Thanks Neli. I appreciate your positive feedback. Not sure how wise or patient I am, but I sure have learned a lot on this BB, and from my sitch with H. I think that we are all strong and dedicated, who are willing to fight for our M's, and ultimately, for our families.
Take care, y'all!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
You definitely have made some very positive changes in your life and seem to be making it out of this very well. I know I appreciate your example and positive input.
Thought I better maybe journal a little bit. Lately I've tried a few 180s, not quite sure if I like them. Didn't really fit me well, not sure if they had much of an approach on W. On a positive not however, one previous 180 was to build up more non-work Rs. One of my new buddies seems to have a pretty good read on her and doesn't seem to be biting into her "happy center of attention" host antics. He kind of prides himself on sniffing things out, he still has the nose. The fact that he likes to hang and do things with me, along with not buying he front, seems to kind of be waking her up. We'll see how this plays out.
Big project I bit off recently seems to be coming together well, should be done this weekend, well in time for what it is scheduled for. It is nice having this site to share on. A good weekend to all.
Hi Phoenix! I am glad you are finding positives in your life. It certainly is an upward slog, isn't it, with very little reward along the way. I guess one should keep one's eye on the prize (I think you would understand that sentence more than most).
As for me, I have indicated to my H that I need for us to have time set aside this weekend to talk about where we stand. He has a habit of getting involved with his work, and projects (he has a small business too), and then tends to withdraw from the M - he has done this many times when we have gone through various crises, and it's getting pretty old now. He is a great dad, so keeps his R with the kids going, which I am thankful for. However, I have lately been feeling that we have never really connected in a meaningful way after his EA with his high school crush. I don't feel he has put enough effort into working on our M. And, I am not sure if I am satisfied with the way things are.
Don't get me wrong .... I would like my M to work, but I feel as if I have done all that I can do, but I have nothing more to give. I feel he has done as little as possible to earn back my trust, to reconnect with me. For instance, although he is affectionate, there is no real intimacy (I can't even remember when we last ML, and to be honest, I am no longer even interested). To me, it's almost as if he is biding his time, keeping the status quo until .... well, I don't know until when. I sometimes still think he is in contact with OW. What makes me think this, is that he has never been disinterested in ML. Now he is going to be travelling away from home, and I feel this is going to push us further apart. I need to know what's up, where I stand, and for him to understand that I will not wait much longer for him to find a way to plug into the M. I am lonely, and feel neglected by him. So, it's coming to a point where I must decide ... once again ... to stay or end this.
I would rather be alone than with someone who is just not interested in me. I am very happy with myself, and don't have any hangups or baggage, except for this ... my so-called M. I am able to keep myself busy, am excited about the things I am interested in, and have lots of plans for my future. I turn 50 this year, so am quite excited about that (strangely).
Anyway, I am just venting somewhat, and trying to understand where I stand in this M. I think I am pretty much finished, but I am willing to give him an opportunity to explain to me where his head is at, and why there is this lack of intimacy, and reconnection. Based on what he says, I will then decide what to do next.
Sigh! I feel I have been running in one spot for so long, and I am tired of this lack of forward motion. He just doesn't get it! I don't know if he ever will! And, I am not sure I want to waste anymore time on this on-the-spot jogging. I feel I have forgiven him, but in order for me to fully heal, he needs to understand how his actions have effected me and our M. I need validation from him, and I need to see him doing something that will let me see that he is truly willing to make our M a priority, and to work on our intimacy issues. BTW, he does not want to go into C again, so that's not an option. C helped me a lot, so I am glad I went for myself.
Anyway, you can all see that being in piecing is not a piece of cake. There is so much healing, forgiving, discovering, unravelling, and reconnecting to do. And, although you can work on your M alone, via DBing, once you are in piecing, then I think that both spouses should be motivated to make it work. Well, IMHO.
Y'all have a good weekend!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Could not have said it any better. I am seriously thinking of sitting down with a C and trying to figure out how to make this work. Like yourself, I find the wheels a spinning and not a whole lot happening. I feel that it's a matter of she not really committed to making things work out, but she doesn't want to look like the "bad guy", so she's waiting for me to throw in the towel and do it for her. She really doesn't want to hurt the kids, or look bad to them (or her parents & relatives). But there has to be a shift here soon. Not sure where this is going next.
There is so much healing, forgiving, discovering, unravelling, and reconnecting to do. And, although you can work on your M alone, via DBing, once you are in piecing, then I think that both spouses should be motivated to make it work. Well, IMHO.