xw called S14/S16 today and afterwards asked to speak with me. She wanted to know if I'd made a final decision yet and I told her the paperwork needed to be turned in tomorrow which gave her one last opportunity to open the door for the two of us. She said she could understand that I'd want to put on the Chief stripe and the money that comes along with it, that was it for me. Told her that I wasn't selfish like her and not doing it for those reasons, with me family comes first. She started talking about the kids and I interrupted her and said, it's not just the kids, the family, the five of us. Again, she statred with a "if not a nuclear family, the next best thing for the kids speech" so I told her that the kids need values and teaching them that adultry and affairs are acceptable is a lesson I won't teach them. That continually choosing "him" and forcing them to be around a person that led to the breakup of their family is wrong and that will not change for as long as they are together. Finished with the "we are not friends for as long as you continue to make the same wrong decision daily and when/if you want to be more than friends again call me but not before. She started on about what if we need to talk about the kids so I told her just business about the kids and that I needed to go. My final words were "you made your decision, I've finally made mine."
So for me, feel like I've finally closed that chapter on that and can hold my head up and move on. Will probably always have regrets about my part in leading up to her decision for wanting a D but know that once I realized the severity of the situation, I did everything I could to prevent it and for the past seven months, tried my best at this divorced but not done approach to try and patch things up. I've no doubt it would be all lawyers and seriously symptomatically problematic to move back to CO, her turf, at this point and that is stress neither my chilren or I need to put up with. We'll find a way to be happier in NJ. RJ
