Well H called at 4 am this morning. Inquiring about s15's bday and if he had a good day. I told him what he did. H asked if s15 opened his card. I told him yes but didn't tell him s15's reaction. H sounded like he had a few but I wasn't sure. Kept saying that if he and I loved each other we wouldn't have hurt each other the way we did. I just listened. I told him that I see things different. I didn't tell him that the hurt he thinks I caused him is his way of justifying his actions. Didn't go there. He kept talking about how no one loved him. He talked about putting us out of our misery and implied that he was going to hurt himself (permanently). His talk was scary. I didn't know if it was the alcohol, the depression, manipulation or a combination of them all.
He said he had to go and that we'd be better off without him. He scared me. SO I hopped in the car and drove down to see if he was ok. I went around back to the entrance of his parent's basement and found him sleeping in a reclyning chair. I kissed his forehead and went to leave and he woke up. He wanted me to lay next to him and I did for a while. He asked why i was there and I told him I was worried about him. He kept saying that we would all be better off without him.
SO not sure where I am at. H comment about people loving each other not hurting each other makes me wonder if he loves me still or if he ever did. I have to wonder where MOW is and how he could be so depressed if he has her for his drug.
Is he close to rock bottom? Not sure. I also don't know if he can ever find his way home with the way he is thinking right now.
