Hey Rob, do me a favor and check out Limbo's thread in newcomers. She is piecing and struggling with expectations and could use some words of encouragement from someone who is succeeding.
It sounds like things are going well for you, Rob! Glad to hear it. Your approach with D14 is right on. I teach kids that age, and the more you try to *make* them do something, the more they push back. Offer them the choice of this or that, then it's THEM hurting themselves. A fact I like to point out when they whine to me...
Control is a myth at best. All you can do is outline the choices and let them choose!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
If you have a second, would you go check out Kman's thread in Newcomers? His W wants to separate and expects HIM to be the one to make the arrangements to move out...I think that's bull. Maybe I'm crazy, but I think that's crap. She wants out, SHE needs to be inconvenienced.
Of course, feel free to disagree!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Wanted to stop by to say hello and thanks again for your help yesterday. You really helped me work toward getting my head back on straight and I appreciate it. Your timing is impeccable! Hope you have a great day!!
Hi Rob. I have been following your thread and it has been very helpful for me. I was wondering if you could take a look at my sitch. I would really appreciate any advice you could offer on detaching in my case or anything else you see I could do different. I'm in the seperated forum. My sitch is, Advice needed for a good response #2, my user name is 46956 Thanks, 4
Things are hectic in the Rob household ATM. Lots and lots of commitments for D14's band and choir stuff, her and my own school, etc.
D14 scheduled a bunch of friends to come over and work on a project yesterday afternoon, which sorta ticked me off (didn't show it) because it kept me and W from attending our second dance lesson on the Cha Cha. (We didn't feel like it was a good idea to leave a house full of teenagers to their own devices for a couple of hours.) However, after the kids left, W and I went out for a nice 10-mile bike ride in our neighborhood. First one of the year - cranked my PMA through the ceiling! Can't TELL you what a boost I get from bike riding.
Later, W and I got a little drunk watching basketball on TV. Almost wound up ML, but we're not quite to the point where we're comfortable telling D14 "Mom and Dad are going into their room for a while, be good...." Not sure who would be more embarrassed, W or D14! (I'm thinking I could handle it... ) Hoped we would get back to ML at bedtime, but W was stressing about getting up really early for a biz trip flight today, so the moment had passed. Still, it felt good that the sparks flew a little bit there - this is still a 180 for me, since in the old days I would have worried about it and gotten down on myself. Definitely gonna work on getting back into that sexy mood in a few days when she gets back from her trip.
Otherwise, more of the same ol', same ol' going on. I think I've coasted a bit "now that the crisis seems to be over", but I think that the change in the weather is going to help me get back into serious PMA-ful mode, and I'll kick my butt back out of the tiny bit of comfort zone and into full GAL gear. Mwahahahaha!
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
ahhh... sounds so great. I liked the part about getting your W tipsy while watching bball- nice. Sounds like good times. Lol...Keep it up, Rob. Can't wait to meet you in Memphis!
Loving the short warm spell of weather - need to get on my bike again!!!!
Ran a music boosters meeting last night - did a good job of asserting myself, being outgoing, and dealing with an amazingly disagreeable couple who come to every meeting and gripe and whine about every decision that is made (I guess every group has to have people like this - it's a rule or something...) All of this was "growth opportunities" for me - I still fight with my tendency to be quiet and shy.
Did a good job of defusing a political sitch at work the last few days. Had some people at our Boulder office really "marking territory" on a major project and escalating every issue into a crisis (I guess every workplace has to have people like this - it's a rule or something...) I think I've managed to get the project back on track and everyone working on the right stuff again - hopefully they won't fire another salvo today and try to stir it all up again!
W came home from her biz trip very enthused and wanting to tell me all about it. It was great to hear her sound so excited about her job for a change. Unfortunately, now she has the cold that D14 and I have been fighting for a couple of weeks.
Will have to remember to start typing D15 on Friday, that's her birthday. Taking her and Boyfriend of the Month out to dinner, and then she is having a sleepover with some girlfriends the following weekend.
Thanks for following along, have a great day!
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
I read your post to Kman, you offer alot of hope to me. I've heard all of the it's over , I'm done, I don't love you. My W still hasn't done anything. Was there an OM? That's the part that is interferring with us, at least I belive that.
Was there any particular part of DBing that you think really worked?
) Hoped we would get back to ML at bedtime, but W was stressing about getting up really early for a biz trip flight today, so the moment had passed. Still, it felt good that the sparks flew a little bit there - this is still a 180 for me, since in the old days I would have worried about it and gotten down on myself. Definitely gonna work on getting back into that sexy mood in a few days when she gets back from her trip. 
