Thank you for posting. The good support system I have right now is this board. I have not told a single family member, friend, colleague, acquaintance what is going on. It's so hard because everyone knows us as a couple, so when I do see/talk to people, they always ask about us/him, and it absolutely kills me. But that's the way it must be for now. Jody told me this, too, and told me how strong I was for being able to keep this inside...
Regarding the cell phone, our cell phones are in my name also. I don't know how I've managed to do this, but I PURPOSELY just take the cell phone bill each month, don't look at it (except to make sure the amount due seems reasonable), staple it together, and FILE IT AWAY! How I've done this, I don't know, especially with my "detective" side of me. I guess I know he's talking to her/texting with her, and I DON'T WANT TO SEE THE EVIDENCE OF IT. It just kills me. Every time I've snooped in any fashion on him, it just ends up hurting, and I burn this image of whatever I've discovered in my head so that it will probably NEVER GO AWAY! I can't take it back once I've done it. So, since I already know it's probably happening, I've just resigned to let it be and not put any more bad images in my mind to have to deal with. And I know really nothing about the OW. Even though I know her name, I've NEVER said it to him, and he has never said it to me. We just talk about "her" or "the other person." I don't WANT to know anything about her or them or what they do. I've asked a few questions about it in the past (mostly about whether they were having sex, just so that I knew), but that's been it. I just don't want to know. It hurts me too much, and I know it will be so hard to ever forget, if I ever can at all.
It's great that you were able to "avoid" his call last night. H hardly ever calls (if ever) just to talk to me. Since we're in business together, his contact with me always has to do with business. Not that we don't ever talk about personal issues, but that's never the reason for the calls/contact.
Jody also mentioned that she had to quit being in business with her H. She said it took too much of a toll on their marriage. That was interesting to hear. We are great business partners, but we talked about that we really need to separate the business from our personal lives and make sure we are being passionate about both and not let them "blend" so much. That was great advice.
Well, I hope your situation keeps improving, slmom. Hang in there, okay? YOU CAN DO THIS!
